are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize