hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.