I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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