dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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