dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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