Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
