There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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