it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
