I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
