I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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