Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
