My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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