I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize