I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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