If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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