I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
