my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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