there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
