Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
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