it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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