I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
