honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
