this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
