So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
