i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
