dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
