i just google imaged poop.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
