you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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