i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
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I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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