i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
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They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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