I want to have your abortion
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
