Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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