Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
