Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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