We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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