Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
