I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
