Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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