whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Randomize