high people should be assigned attendants
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize