R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
