If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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