HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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