Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
