Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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