Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo

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  (610): Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo http://tfl.nu/aw10
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  (904): View more from Florida

  If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it

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  (904): If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it http://tfl.nu/oeec
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.

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  (360): Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe. http://tfl.nu/jop2
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue

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  (210): i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue http://tfl.nu/p7ux
  Replies (5) Good night (4325) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.

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  (202): Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30. http://tfl.nu/8g1h
  Replies (6) Good night (1004) Bad night (2686) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

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  (239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis

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  (740): his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis http://tfl.nu/cmya
  Replies (5) Good night (788) Bad night (2809) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.

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  (859): You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point. http://tfl.nu/cgpy
  Replies (11) Good night (1278) Bad night (498)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive

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  (306): I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive http://tfl.nu/z4k9
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.

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  (303): So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay. http://tfl.nu/vqqs
  Replies (8) Good night (1635) Bad night (519)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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  (845): You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey http://tfl.nu/3j62
  Replies (5) Good night (1245) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.

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  (202): I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it. http://tfl.nu/il0a
  Replies (12) Good night (1005) Bad night (435)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.

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  (479): I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me. http://tfl.nu/04w2
  Replies (9) Good night (434) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why

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  (626): Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why http://tfl.nu/74jl
  Replies (4) Good night (1133) Bad night (151) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.

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  (240): Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum. http://tfl.nu/4chd
  Replies (12) Good night (346) Bad night (787)

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