I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
