He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
sex in a hospital.. check
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
