I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
