matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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