Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
