Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
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duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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