if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
