There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
