just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
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She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
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he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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