"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
