Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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