Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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