I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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