im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
