she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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