My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
