As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
