I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
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he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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