i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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