I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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