It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She bit a glass in half.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
