i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and she was petting her beer can
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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