Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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